Dear Devil Rays,

You fight like little girls.  Your catcher is sitting on top of Coco, literally holding him down while your best and brightest throw haymakers at him and he comes crawling out of the pile like, “That’s the best you’ve got?” Well, when that happens, you know you’re a bunch of sorry ass losers. Unbelievably though, some fool at ESPN actually had the nerve to question whether this new Sox/Rays rivalry would become the new Sox/Yanks rivalry. Are you fking kidding me? Bitch, please.

No love,
me