Signs of the internet apocolypse - I get dick jokes from my grandfather’s brother (my grandfather died 20 years ago at a very young age, his brother is 10 years or so younger, but at this point should still be considered a very very old man…) Perhaps he doesn’t read his forwards first. Yeah, lets go with that.

They say all PR is good PR - Really? Is it really? Because sure, on the one hand, I’m now suddenly thinking about Papa Johns again for the first time in probably ten years or so… since their pizza tastes like fking cardboard. On the other hand, I’m thinking of them, but in the way that you think of that douchebag friend of your best friend’s brother. Not good. This story has already made it around the blogosphere* and back by now, so I don’t need to go into too much detail, but needless to say, Papa Johns owes Lebron & Cavs fans a giant mouth kiss of an apology. I don’t know if 23 cent cardboard pizzas are really good enough though. Might want to toss in some cardboard bread sticks or something.

*BDL: 10-man rotation, FanHouse: Papa John’s Fears Cleveland, slice: Papa John’s LeBron James ‘Crybaby’ Shirt Controversy Means Cheap Pizza for Clevelanders, SFP: Papa John’s owes Lebron apology, not just pizza

Playoffs tonight in a nutshell… (my useless predictions)

Pistons v. Magic - Unless Detroit gets bored and go on auto-pilot, they should win this game. They are better at almost every position and play with more experience and poise. Also, ps to whoever the commentators are tonight: You could do me a big favor please by getting all the obligatory superlatives about Dwight Howard out of the way right off the bat. For instance, we already know he’s “a manchild”, “a beast”, and “Superman”. There that’s done. No need to keeping repeating it. While you’re at it, when referring to the Pistons, please refrain from too much talk of them, “flipping the switch” or talking about “the switch” period. Danke shane.

Hornets v. Spurs - Toss up. Ps to commentators in regards to this game: Please don’t remind us for the millionth time that Manu won the 6th man award despite being starter-material. We know, we know. If possible, refrain from going on and on and on about how Chris Paul was deserving of the MVP award. That might be true, but the race is over and I’m sick of the subject. To the camera operators: Show the beautiful Mrs. Longoria Parker if you must, but please don’t linger. A two-second count is acceptable. More than that and you’re just annoying people who are actually more interested in, oh you know, the game perhaps.

Finally, I was talking to my mom (diehard Boston Red Sox fan with a B tattoo on her ankle to prove it) about how I like Lebron, but will have to start rooting against him now that the Cavs are playing my beloved Celtics. Her response: “Just remember, he’s a Yankee fan and that is reason enough to boo him.” Haha, when you’re right, you’re right. *wink*

Boston 99, Atlanta 65 - That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it… But seriously now, why the hell did it take 7 games? It was mind-boggling the way the Hawks fell apart in Boston every game and then went back home and played so great. Thank the good lord all-mighty that we had and will continue to have home court advantage.

Notes from the game:

• Dear Marvin Williams, your claims that you were trying to keep “one of your best friends” Rondo from falling on the parkay were easily refuted by the replay shown on high definition surround sound of you DROPPING him on his head. So try again there sucker. What is it with this team? Horford puts T.J. Ford in the hospital and now this? Ever heard of making a play for the actual basketball? Enjoy the off-season. No love, me
• Ray Allen was missing everything. It was excruciating. I hope he gets his mojo back for Lebron & Co.
• The Posey hugs today were lovely as always. Sigh. I think I have a little crush on James Posey. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. *wink*
• The Zohan movie doing the split-screen commercial with Baron Davis was hysterical.

Lakers 109, Utah 98 - I never really thought the outcome of this game was in question. Sure, the Jazz stayed in the game the whole time and always had a chance to go on a run, but come’on… who has a shot to win at Staples with fat Jack in the house cheering on his boys? Not to mention… Dyan Cannon, Spiderman, E from Entourage, Anthony Kiedis, Denzel… and so on and so on. Celebrity cheerleaders always give you an advantage. They’re like normal fans only a hundred times richer and better looking. Its like having the center of the sun in your corner and their light just leads every shot into the hoop like a rainbow into a kettle of gold. Oh… and I guess a little Kobe Bryant on your team doesn’t hurt either.

Reality crap on E! - I’m waiting with baited breath for the 10pm episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians to come on. Why, you ask? Because I can’t wait to find out how the compelling “Kardashian Civil War” is going to turn out? No way jose. I’m tuning in to see my boyfriend Reggie Bush on webcam. Ooooh baby baby. *wink* I really hope Kim realizes I want him back when she’s done. *wink-wink*

Oh yeah, I fell asleep before the end of the game, but way to go Hornets for beating the evil Spurs!

I went to the Celtics Pro Shop today at North Station and made a couple of important discoveries… 1) There is a lot more cool NBA women’s gear than there is for MLB (no offense, Alyssa Milano). 2) Apparently bedazzle is the new pink. What I mean by this is that it used to be where all the pro sports women’s gear was pink and now instead of pink, everything seems to be adorned with silver rhinestones. Oh well, I guess its a start. I like pink, but not on my fan gear. Team colors please, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, the real purpose of this post was to blog about the Laker/Spurs game today. No, I’m not going to spew out stats or fawn over Kobe’s superhuman skills… Nope. You can get that anywhere. There are serious NBA blogs (see blogroll) out there that will fill you in on that crap. What I really want to bring to your attention are the real stars in the Staples Center. Yes, that’s right… Jack “I wear my sunglasses at night” Nicholson, Spike “I’m just here filming a Kobe spot for ESPN, otherwise I’d be suffering through another heinous Knicks game”, oh oh oh and of course, Mrs. Tony Longoria Parker. Every time I see ELP, I think of the 3 million and 22 cameos of her we saw during last year’s playoff run. I love how the production team always ALWAYS always has to point out the stars in the crowd. Its even better when they interview them. For instance, at a recent Celtics game, they interviewed longtime C-fan and Bostonian, Donnie Wahlberg. It was seriously good times. Donnie really knows his sh-t. He’s not just sitting there in a pink #5 jersey shimmying for the cameras *cough Jessica Simpson cough*.

Wow, that was seriously inane. Even for me. I win!