The fking Spurs are still alive and well in the playoffs. They do this to torment me. *shaking fist at the sky*

My beloved Celtics are playing the Lebrons away again tonight. Unlike Jameer, I will not guarantee a victory for my team. Instead… I’m introducing a new product that I believe will be useful for years to come:

I hate to put the ole hex-a-rino on Lebron because I do like him, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

In other news, ESPN has been talking about Kim Kardashian’s my boyfriend all day because there’s another USC athletics scandal. That’s been fun. I understand why its a story and all, but raise your hand if you’re really shocked and awed by the idea that O.J. Mayo might’ve started accepting “cash and gifts” early… I’m not going to make excuses because quite honestly, I don’t really care. If someone backs a truck up to my house and offers me a flat screen and a suitcase of money, I’m not saying, “No thanks” but maybe that’s just me.

Crap! Just remembered the Celtics, Gossip Girl and The Hills are all on tonight. Why can’t I clone myself? Obviously the Celtics game 4 playoff game is the most important… but, its also extremely important to find out who Serena killed. *sigh* It’s like Sophie’s Choice!

If I ever refer to another inane blogger as a “peer” or “colleague” you have my permission to kick me square in the ass. I am well aware that some bloggers are successful and actually get paid to share their opinions with the internet world — some of them even get book deals, go on media tours or write for major publications – and that’s fking fabulous for them, but there are just way too many bloggers nowadays with “fans” who think they’re above any old dipstick with a Blogger or Wordpress account. That may or may not be true depending on who is involved, but let me say this… There’s nothing more insufferable than an elitist blogger.

• Hollywood club du jour - Goa
• Justin Bobby cameo. Oh the humanity!
• Watching this show, you really get the impression that these chicks just hang & fold designer clothes all day and then party all night in fabby LA clubs. Wait, I guess that is all they do.
• Microseries break: Holy Nick Lachey Batman… Did Alicia Keys just say, “email blast”? I just had a flashback that I was at work. Isn’t Nick Lachey too old to be on MTV? Don’t they shoot people after their 24th birthday? That’s what I heard.
• Audrina is batting her droopy eye(lashes) at Justin Bobby again. He must just giggle to himself to have such a willing doormat.
• Wow, Spencer out-bastarded himself this episode. Bravo Spencer bravo!
• The lease is running out… operation “phase out Audrina” in progress.
• Oh Stephen Colletti, be still my heart.

Cavs v. Wiz - Hey DeShawn, shave your face. The Wiz are out like gangbusters. I’m turning this bitch at 8pm to watch Gossip Girl, so hopefully the Cavs can get their shit together while I’m gone. I’ve already forgotten who’s playing next, but The Hills are on later too so I might have to miss some of that game too. I really need a DVR or TiVo. Only reason I haven’t gotten one by now is that I know I’ll tape a bunch of crap that I’ll never watch. [Checking in after halftime - The Cavs are up by 15. Sweet cherry pie. CW keeps airing a commercial for some show called "Farmer Wants A Wife" or some horseshit like that. WTF? Who watches that piss? Wait, me? Mmm, guilty. Not this time though, even I have standards -- low as they are.]

Blogging about a fake reality show is really stupid, but I’m game. I do have an inane reputation to keep up after all.

• Who’s this new dufus Kevin that’s hanging out w/Spencer? Probably an actor, never mind.
• The fashion PR lady, Kelly is obsessed w/forcing her employees to wear black. I like it.
• Heidi proclaims, “I’m shaking mad!” when she sees Spencer talking to another girl at a club. “I don’t even want to look at you!” Wow. Holy faux drama Batman.
• I miss Lauren’s fake relationship w/Brody. Brody at least brought the mancandy.
• What’s up with these lame Alicia Keys micro-series snippets? Me no likey.
• Lauren called Spencer “a scum” and then seemed surprised by her own venom. For Spencer, scum is a compliment, so I’m confused.
• All Heidi does at her fake job is talk about Spencer. Her fake coworker always acts really interested in everything she has to say. If she was my coworker, I’d have to surround myself with that “cone of silence” thing they had on that old tv show, Get Smart.
• YES! Commercial for Gossip Girl. New eps. next week. Sweet cherry pie.
• NO! Commercial for The Real World. No mas por favor.
• “Relationship Vacation” must be short for “let me get my bitch on for a few weeks, k babe?”
• Apparently Whitney and Lauren are a 2-for-1 special now occupationally.