I’m scared that the most interesting thing about the Red Sox was Manny Ramirez because since he left, I find myself with absolutely nothing to write about. Jason Bay is great. He’s another consistent lunch pail guy with a fantastic work ethic. Christ, what am I supposed to do with that? Schilling used to provide some nice material once-upon-a-time, but he’s gone now too for all intents and purposes. *sigh* I suppose Manny being on another team doesn’t mean I can’t still talk about him, right? So, I decided to see what he’s been up to and Google Newsed him. I was not disappointed. The first article comes up is from the LA Times and is called, “Manny Ramirez’s mixed-fashion sense fits in L.A.” and the subheading is, “Dreadlocks. A suit. Shades. Expect the unexpected from the newly minted Dodger.” Cod damn it, that’s fracking fabulous! Seriously. Manny must be happy as a pig in shit right now. He’s the toast of the town. The center of the universe. King fracking tut… and apparently, a fashion trend setter. Here’s my favorite line from the article:

“From the length of his hair to the number he wears (99), he knows the impact every stylish detail can have.”

You just can’t make this shit up.

Ok, let’s just face facts here. I’m a delinquent blogger. I think I’ll blog a lot more when the NFL and NBA start up again. Every time I even think about blogging these days its to bitch about Manny Ramirez. I think he’s clearly occupied enough real estate on my blog already. I spend a lot more time on the internet on my phone these days too. Twitter and Facebook are particularly easy to update from my Sidekick. Maybe I’ll see if Wordpress has a plugin to make it easier to update from my phone.

Anyway, enough about my dereliction of duties… Paul THE TRUTH Pierce is co-hosting with Greeny on Mike & Mike this morning. It’s like I died and went to heaven and Christmas morning all rolled into one. An entire episode devoted to talking about my beloved Celtics and their championship. Even Donnie Wahlberg called in. Good times, good times. I’m tired because I stayed up until after 1am watching the Wms Gymnastics All-Around competition. Congrats to Nastia and Shawn, but I’m exhausted. Oh and a shelf collapsed in my kitchen around 3am and scared the bejesus out of me and my dogs. My boston terrier was completely traumatized, so I had to console her for a half hour before going back to bed. Aye yay yay.

So Brett Favre is a Jet. I was flipping channels when the news broke and I think it’s a sure sign that I watch too much ESPN that my first thought was, “Greeny is going to be so excited!” Oy. It’s going to be interesting [for the Patriots] playing a Jets team that doesn’t suck monkeyballs (assuming that with Brett, they won’t suck monkeyballs). I heard that the Jets store sold 3200 Favre jerseys in one day and broke the record for most jerseys sold in one day. Personally, I would’ve waited a few days in case he changed his mind, but that’s just me.

I’m excited to have the NFL coming back. Not as excited as if the NBA was back, but at least there will now be something on besides baseball. I love the Red Sox, but baseball is by far my least favorite sport to watch regularly. Also, with NBA/NFL there are other teams I’m interested in besides Celtics/Pats, but with baseball, I’m only interested in the Sox. I watched the Saints/Cardinals game last night aka Reggie/Matt. Reggie’s team beat Matt’s by quite a bit. Those preseason games are so meaningless though, it’s hard to get too jazzed either way.

So Manny is suddenly hitting homers again and running hard… It’s a MIRACLE! That little frackhead. Before we know it, he’s going to be in pinstripes high-fiving Johnny Damon. Well what do you know, I’m still a bitter Mannyhater. I think I’ll just embrace it…

Update: Sweet baby jesus. I’ve seen it all now. Boston.com reports that due to “Manny Mania” they’re going to start selling Dodgers hats out in LA with dreadlocks sewn into them… I know I should get over this one of these days and stop reporting on every stupid move Manny makes, but that would require me to become mature and de-bitter-ize myself and let’s face it, that ain’t happening. Speaking of bitterness, Eli Manning is on Sports Center right now hawking DirectTV. Even though I know he’s a good guy, I still want to punch him. *sigh* I have issues.

Jason Bay and Jed Lowrie. What a breath of fresh air those two are. The whole team just seems fresher and lighter. Like a big ugly fog has been lifted from the dugout at Fenway. Speaking of Manny, I heard a rumor (yes, my Mom) that he’s agreed to cut his hair. Reminds me of another sellout *cough Johnny Damon cough*. Oh well… I wipe my hands of him. I know he’s said nice things about the Boston fans in his presser, but I don’t care. If he really cared about the fans, he wouldn’t have acted like a jerkface sockmonkey every single fracking year for no reason other than that he was a spoiled rotten primadonna. Phew. I guess I’m still bitter. Not as bitter as I still am about those smelly NY Giants stealing my Superbowl trophy… but close. 

Man, I have been an extremely delinquent blogger. Thank goodness I don’t have a legion of fans following my every word. I knew that would come in handy some day.

So. Manny’s going going……… GONE! Good riddance. He reminded me of a collicky baby. Wah wah, you don’t deserve me. Wah wah, trade me for Brett Favre. Wah wah, *silence*. Ah yes, that’s better. Have fun with the headcase, Joe. He’ll be great in the beginning, but before you know it, you’ll be curled up in a fetal position pulling your hair out just like Tito.

Brett Favre. I’ve been trying not to go off on this topic because it’s so ubiquitous, but what the hell. Dude, GO AWAY! Go away, go away, go away. There must be a reason why you keep threatening to retire. Maybe you should just go ahead then and retire. Or play. But, make a motherfracking decision and stick to it. I don’t give a shrimp anymore how hard of a decision it is… This isn’t Sophie’s fracking Choice. You aren’t picking which one of your children lives or dies. It’s football. You either play or you don’t play. Stop forcing this soap opera on the NFL every season, it’s tired. I don’t even have a horse in the race and I’m friggin exhausted.

I’m serious. I’d vote for him. I had heard his performance at the ESPYs was great, but man… I was laughing like a fool. The Celtics puppets were one of my faves. Where he has the Garnett puppet yelling, “Anything is possible!” Hehehe. I loved when he stuck his hand in Mario Chalmers face and said, “Is that so hard Memphis?” Oh and when he hugged Aaron Rodgers. *sigh* I could just relive that broadcast all night. Good times, good times. Oh oh oh… and at the end of the night, when the Celtics won the best team award and Ray said, “…another win in LA” and the crowd booed. That was sweet. Didn’t completely make up for having to stomach all those NY Giants awards *blech*, but it helped.

Oh NY Giants, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways. Here’s to hoping Jeremy Shockey has a great year for the Saints and the Giants go down in flames. I still like Eli Manning (it’s hard to hate on Opie Taylor) but the rest of that team of cocky a-holes can suck it.

Danica Patrick and Milka Duno. Sigh. Do you really have to have a girlie bitchfight on camera? Perpetuate the stereotype much? I think Danica needs to start putting up or shutting up. If she’s going to haul her overpaid, overhyped ass to other racer’s pit stalls, the least she could do is throw up punch. In this particular case though, she’s right about Duno being a pain in the ass on the track due to lack of talent. She’s like a construction cone and someday she’s going to hurt somebody. Still though, Danica should either take a swing or as Lebron would tell his own mama, “Sit yo ass down!”

I’m boycotting the Red Sox games until they come back home. I can’t be expected to watch games that start after 10pm. Sure, I’m up much later than that. But, that’s my time to watch trashy reality television shows on E! and I’m not changing my ways. Plus, they got swept in LA and I’m not wasting my time watching them lose on the road. Wow, Jed Lowry looks young. The call-ups always look like babies to me. Ok fine, I’m watching tonight’s game. Pre-game anyway. Dice-K’s on the mound. I doubt I’ll last, but I’ll give it a shot. Oh and Dear Manny — Grow the frack up and stop playing reindeer games with Sox management. Thanks babe. Love, me.

I watched the last 2 minutes of a WNBA game tonight. A total melee broke out. Candace Parker, Rick Mahorn, and two other players got ejected. It was good times. The commentators were yammering about how it was such an awful display and totally shaming the WNBA’s image etc… You know what’s a shame ladies? The fact that nobody gives a rat’s ass about the WNBA in the first place and the star players only earn about a fraction of what Celtics bench player, Gabe Pruitt made last year. That’s a shame.

Earlier tonight, I may have watched Game 6 of the NBA Finals again… It was sweet. I need to swap out that DVR w/the cable company peeps so I can get an HD DVR since I upgraded my TV and unfortunately, I can’t get the contents onto a writable DVD disc. So that means that all 20 hours of Celtics coverage (the games, parade through beantown, parade at red sox game, very special episodes of celtics now on nesn, etc..) will be gone forever. Such a tragedy. So, during my vacation, I’m planning to watch all of it at least two or three more times before I have to part with it. Sigh. Speaking of Celtics, Eddie House and Tony Allen got picked up for two more years. That’s cool. I’m still disappointed to lose the love of my life, James Posey, but I guess if he’s gone for good, I’m glad we aren’t losing anyone else.

From Boston.com: During a pitching change in the Sox-Twins game yesterday at Fenway, Manny Ramirez climbed into the Green Monster and could be seen talking on a cell phone.

Sometimes, there are no words.

ps. I love that Boston.com has a photo gallery called “Manny being Manny moments” — haha.
pps. It’s a pretty extensive gallery.

Holy hell, it’s hot up in this bitch. This bitch being New England. I’m sure other parts of the country are much hotter, but I only care about me obviously.

My day today started out super. The darling counter chick at Dunkin Donuts bitched me out because she got my order wrong. Yes, it was all MY fault she couldn’t wrap her mind around the difference between an ice coffee and a regular coffee on a 90+ degree day. It was clearly way out of line for me to expect her to correct it. I might’ve screamed “f–k you and your mother too” as I was peeling away from the drive-thru window. Homie don’t play on a sunny day, yo. <– I clearly missed my calling as a gangsta rapper.  I haven’t heard a rhyme this tight since…

The Red Sox managed to win a close one last night. Papelbon actually saved a game too. I’m thinking streak. Let’s do it! Hopefully the Rays continue to lose too. That would be most helpful. My theory on them is that they’re shooting their wad right now and will be burned out by the time we get to the playoffs. Well, that’s the plan on my end anyway. I didn’t actually watch last night’s game until the final inning. I have an attention span problem when it comes to baseball unless I really force myself to watch from beginning to end… oh and speaking of attention span problems, what’s this I hear about Manny not swinging at pitches during the game? What hell, you say? I prefer to think he was just daydreaming about ponies and forgot he was at the plate.

For the love of the kabbalah red string and all that is holy, would the braintrust at ESPN and all their various talking heads please PLEASE please stop qualifying themselves every time they want to say anything about Stray A-Rod. I’m so sick of hearing them tap dance around the fact that they’re reporting on gossip. They should either shut the frack up and not talk about it – if it really pains them so much — or they should just talk about it and not worry about how it makes them look. Personally, I don’t see ESPN as a bastion of impartiality in the first place, so what difference does it make?

Dear Brett Favre - MAKE UP YOUR FRACKING MIND! Thank you and good day sir. I said good day!

Soooo, we beat the Yankees 2 games in a row. Yay and all that, but then today… wtf? I’m greedy and I wanted a sweep. Also, how many times are you allowed to hit Manny in one game before somebody at least gets a warning? Manny didn’t seem to care, but I was screaming expletives that would’ve made my mom blush if she hadn’t been screaming them too.

Oh and funny story.. We were driving today, coming back from getting ice cream, and we come up behind a mini-van with the Yankees symbol on the back and in unison we both went, “Ewwwww!” and then laughed. Then she told me to ram them or at least run them off the road. I think she was kidding.  That’s about all I can say about the Yankees though, since two of my best friends are card-carrying Yankees fans. I try to keep my hatred to a dull roar for their sake. Gosh… I am SUCH a good friend.

I watched the Boston Pops Fireworks extravaganza thing last night on the tube. Was it just me or was there a mushroom cloud of smoke in the sky the whole time? Maybe it was just the LCD tv. I finally got with the times and bought a big wide LCD tv. I probably should’ve saved a few more thousand and gone with plasma. LCD only looks good when you’re staring straight at it. I’m often lazily reclining so the picture ends up looking dark. I guess the solution is to stop being lazy and sit up and watch… But, nah.

Now that the game is over, I’m planning to watch the Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on USA until my eyes go crossed. Happy 4th of July weekend to all!

I spent last weekend in a blissful Red Sox coma. I was super exhausted and couldn’t muster up the energy to do anything more taxing than lying on the couch with the dogs watching the Sox play the Astros. I could’ve done without the two losses in a row, but such is life. For the love of manny being manny and all that is holy though, could someone please manage a few more hits when my-boyfriend-Josh-Beckett is pitching? The piddly offense is hurting his stats. [Oh and by the way, calling him that is just a bad habit I got into a few years ago. I promise I'm not one of those freaky chicks who signs up for message boards under monikers like, "Mrs_Jeter" and "TomBradys-Lady." *shiver*]

Speaking of Manny Being Manny, what’s this hubbub about Manny going diva and shoving staffers around over game tickets? Gah. I was just starting to find him completely charming again and he has go and do something crummy. Allegedly. *wink* I put Manny and Paul Pierce into the same category in terms of Boston sports figures and how I feel about them. I want to like them, but sometimes they say or do things that are hard to dismiss.

Red Sox play the Rays tonight. My mother continues to insist on calling them the Devil Rays despite multiple corrections from me. I have finally given up. Why do I give a shit what she calls them, they suck. And by suck, I mean they’re disturbingly good and that sucks.