Right now, I am watching a combination of the Sox/Yanks game, Law & Order and College Football Live on ESPN2. I know next to nothing about Byrd, so I have no idea what to think. Giambi’s mustache cracks me up. It’s taken on a life of it’s own, just like Manny’s dreads. Did I just see Fat Jack Nicholson in the pricey seats wearing a Yankees hat? Haha, that figures!

Jed Lowrie’s been quite Ellsburyian this season. My mother said, “Poor Julio. After they won the World Series last year he said, ‘I guess I’m the best shortstop in baseball!’ and I thought that was so cute.” I might have muttered something about him being on crack if he thinks that. I’m a realist after all. So yeah, if Jed Lowrie doesn’t have Lugo’s job by next season, I’ll be shocked. Then again, I didn’t think Coco would still be around after the way Ellsbury performed and he’s still here.

“From the length of his hair to the number he wears (99), he knows the impact every stylish detail can have.”

You just can’t make this shit up.

Anyway, enough about my dereliction of duties… Paul THE TRUTH Pierce is co-hosting with Greeny on Mike & Mike this morning. It’s like I died and went to heaven and Christmas morning all rolled into one. An entire episode devoted to talking about my beloved Celtics and their championship. Even Donnie Wahlberg called in. Good times, good times. I’m tired because I stayed up until after 1am watching the Wms Gymnastics All-Around competition. Congrats to Nastia and Shawn, but I’m exhausted. Oh and a shelf collapsed in my kitchen around 3am and scared the bejesus out of me and my dogs. My boston terrier was completely traumatized, so I had to console her for a half hour before going back to bed. Aye yay yay.

I’m excited to have the NFL coming back. Not as excited as if the NBA was back, but at least there will now be something on besides baseball. I love the Red Sox, but baseball is by far my least favorite sport to watch regularly. Also, with NBA/NFL there are other teams I’m interested in besides Celtics/Pats, but with baseball, I’m only interested in the Sox. I watched the Saints/Cardinals game last night aka Reggie/Matt. Reggie’s team beat Matt’s by quite a bit. Those preseason games are so meaningless though, it’s hard to get too jazzed either way.

So Manny is suddenly hitting homers again and running hard… It’s a MIRACLE! That little frackhead. Before we know it, he’s going to be in pinstripes high-fiving Johnny Damon. Well what do you know, I’m still a bitter Mannyhater. I think I’ll just embrace it…

Update: Sweet baby jesus. I’ve seen it all now. Boston.com reports that due to “Manny Mania” they’re going to start selling Dodgers hats out in LA with dreadlocks sewn into them… I know I should get over this one of these days and stop reporting on every stupid move Manny makes, but that would require me to become mature and de-bitter-ize myself and let’s face it, that ain’t happening. Speaking of bitterness, Eli Manning is on Sports Center right now hawking DirectTV. Even though I know he’s a good guy, I still want to punch him. *sigh* I have issues.

So. Manny’s going going……… GONE! Good riddance. He reminded me of a collicky baby. Wah wah, you don’t deserve me. Wah wah, trade me for Brett Favre. Wah wah, *silence*. Ah yes, that’s better. Have fun with the headcase, Joe. He’ll be great in the beginning, but before you know it, you’ll be curled up in a fetal position pulling your hair out just like Tito.

Brett Favre. I’ve been trying not to go off on this topic because it’s so ubiquitous, but what the hell. Dude, GO AWAY! Go away, go away, go away. There must be a reason why you keep threatening to retire. Maybe you should just go ahead then and retire. Or play. But, make a motherfracking decision and stick to it. I don’t give a shrimp anymore how hard of a decision it is… This isn’t Sophie’s fracking Choice. You aren’t picking which one of your children lives or dies. It’s football. You either play or you don’t play. Stop forcing this soap opera on the NFL every season, it’s tired. I don’t even have a horse in the race and I’m friggin exhausted.

Oh NY Giants, how I hate thee. Let me count the ways. Here’s to hoping Jeremy Shockey has a great year for the Saints and the Giants go down in flames. I still like Eli Manning (it’s hard to hate on Opie Taylor) but the rest of that team of cocky a-holes can suck it.

Danica Patrick and Milka Duno. Sigh. Do you really have to have a girlie bitchfight on camera? Perpetuate the stereotype much? I think Danica needs to start putting up or shutting up. If she’s going to haul her overpaid, overhyped ass to other racer’s pit stalls, the least she could do is throw up punch. In this particular case though, she’s right about Duno being a pain in the ass on the track due to lack of talent. She’s like a construction cone and someday she’s going to hurt somebody. Still though, Danica should either take a swing or as Lebron would tell his own mama, “Sit yo ass down!”

I’m boycotting the Red Sox games until they come back home. I can’t be expected to watch games that start after 10pm. Sure, I’m up much later than that. But, that’s my time to watch trashy reality television shows on E! and I’m not changing my ways. Plus, they got swept in LA and I’m not wasting my time watching them lose on the road. Wow, Jed Lowry looks young. The call-ups always look like babies to me. Ok fine, I’m watching tonight’s game. Pre-game anyway. Dice-K’s on the mound. I doubt I’ll last, but I’ll give it a shot. Oh and Dear Manny — Grow the frack up and stop playing reindeer games with Sox management. Thanks babe. Love, me.

I watched the last 2 minutes of a WNBA game tonight. A total melee broke out. Candace Parker, Rick Mahorn, and two other players got ejected. It was good times. The commentators were yammering about how it was such an awful display and totally shaming the WNBA’s image etc… You know what’s a shame ladies? The fact that nobody gives a rat’s ass about the WNBA in the first place and the star players only earn about a fraction of what Celtics bench player, Gabe Pruitt made last year. That’s a shame.

Earlier tonight, I may have watched Game 6 of the NBA Finals again… It was sweet. I need to swap out that DVR w/the cable company peeps so I can get an HD DVR since I upgraded my TV and unfortunately, I can’t get the contents onto a writable DVD disc. So that means that all 20 hours of Celtics coverage (the games, parade through beantown, parade at red sox game, very special episodes of celtics now on nesn, etc..) will be gone forever. Such a tragedy. So, during my vacation, I’m planning to watch all of it at least two or three more times before I have to part with it. Sigh. Speaking of Celtics, Eddie House and Tony Allen got picked up for two more years. That’s cool. I’m still disappointed to lose the love of my life, James Posey, but I guess if he’s gone for good, I’m glad we aren’t losing anyone else.

Patrick O’Bryant is now a Celtic. Still waiting for word about senor manhug. I discovered some sad sad news today. Gino is dead. Long live Gino!