This bullshrimp (yes, I’m trying to curb the profanity, lol) really annoys the bejesus out of me:

“I still like the kid and still think he can play for us,” Smith said of Redick. “As I’ve said before he’s not the first guy in the history of basketball whose career has gotten off to a slow start. And he’s not the first guy who has played four years of college basketball and struggled to get on the floor. Please write this: ‘I like J.J. Redick.’ “

Oh yeah, you like him all right. You like him enough to not play him for 2 years. I’m so sick of hearing that he’s not good enough to play. Believe me, if he wasn’t good enough to play, he wouldn’t be in the NBA. He wouldn’t have been drafted. Certainly not in the lottery. At the very least, if he was so inept, he would’ve been sent to the DL or overseas for improvement. NBA teams don’t just draft a guy at the 11th spot and then happily pay them millions to sit and watch games. Oh wait, I guess maybe they do. But, it isn’t because he can’t play. It’s because they threw a fat contract at a 5′2″ point guard. In which case, fine, TRADE HIM.

For the love of Coach K, Dick Vitale, Christian Laettner and all that are holy and wise, trade him! Stop the insanity!

From Boston.com: During a pitching change in the Sox-Twins game yesterday at Fenway, Manny Ramirez climbed into the Green Monster and could be seen talking on a cell phone.

Sometimes, there are no words.

ps. I love that Boston.com has a photo gallery called “Manny being Manny moments” — haha.
pps. It’s a pretty extensive gallery.

I apparently missed an epic Red Sox game today. Thank goodness NESN is re-airing it tonight. It is a little weird though, watching a game that you know the outcome of already. I’m suffering from a serious lack of suspense here. I’m happy to suffer though, since it means I already know they score 18 fracking runs!

I don’t know if I addressed it in my About page ramblings, but I like to wink a lot. Like an annoying amount. Practically everything I write online, I feel the need to accompany with a wink. Nothing to be alarmed about.  Feel free to ignore them.   

In NBA free agency news, Elton Brand is heading to Philly, Corey Maggette to Golden State and apparently Michael Peitrus is heading to Orlando. Wait. What? Wha wha what? This means the Orlando fracking Tragic Magic have SIX shooting guards. They already had four (Maurice Evans - starter, Keith Bogans, Keyon Dooling, and J.J. Redick - backups). Then they drafted Courtney Lee in the first round. Now, they’re spending almost their entire mid-level exception on Michael Pietrus from GSW. They must have a trade or two up their sleeves because they’re desperate for a starting backup point guard and also really need a solid power forward. Still though. SIX shooting guards. Sweet mother of god.

Holy hell, it’s hot up in this bitch. This bitch being New England. I’m sure other parts of the country are much hotter, but I only care about me obviously.

My day today started out super. The darling counter chick at Dunkin Donuts bitched me out because she got my order wrong. Yes, it was all MY fault she couldn’t wrap her mind around the difference between an ice coffee and a regular coffee on a 90+ degree day. It was clearly way out of line for me to expect her to correct it. I might’ve screamed “f–k you and your mother too” as I was peeling away from the drive-thru window. Homie don’t play on a sunny day, yo. <– I clearly missed my calling as a gangsta rapper.  I haven’t heard a rhyme this tight since…

The Red Sox managed to win a close one last night. Papelbon actually saved a game too. I’m thinking streak. Let’s do it! Hopefully the Rays continue to lose too. That would be most helpful. My theory on them is that they’re shooting their wad right now and will be burned out by the time we get to the playoffs. Well, that’s the plan on my end anyway. I didn’t actually watch last night’s game until the final inning. I have an attention span problem when it comes to baseball unless I really force myself to watch from beginning to end… oh and speaking of attention span problems, what’s this I hear about Manny not swinging at pitches during the game? What hell, you say? I prefer to think he was just daydreaming about ponies and forgot he was at the plate.

For the love of the kabbalah red string and all that is holy, would the braintrust at ESPN and all their various talking heads please PLEASE please stop qualifying themselves every time they want to say anything about Stray A-Rod. I’m so sick of hearing them tap dance around the fact that they’re reporting on gossip. They should either shut the frack up and not talk about it – if it really pains them so much — or they should just talk about it and not worry about how it makes them look. Personally, I don’t see ESPN as a bastion of impartiality in the first place, so what difference does it make?

Dear Brett Favre - MAKE UP YOUR FRACKING MIND! Thank you and good day sir. I said good day!

Soooo, we beat the Yankees 2 games in a row. Yay and all that, but then today… wtf? I’m greedy and I wanted a sweep. Also, how many times are you allowed to hit Manny in one game before somebody at least gets a warning? Manny didn’t seem to care, but I was screaming expletives that would’ve made my mom blush if she hadn’t been screaming them too.

Oh and funny story.. We were driving today, coming back from getting ice cream, and we come up behind a mini-van with the Yankees symbol on the back and in unison we both went, “Ewwwww!” and then laughed. Then she told me to ram them or at least run them off the road. I think she was kidding.  That’s about all I can say about the Yankees though, since two of my best friends are card-carrying Yankees fans. I try to keep my hatred to a dull roar for their sake. Gosh… I am SUCH a good friend.

I watched the Boston Pops Fireworks extravaganza thing last night on the tube. Was it just me or was there a mushroom cloud of smoke in the sky the whole time? Maybe it was just the LCD tv. I finally got with the times and bought a big wide LCD tv. I probably should’ve saved a few more thousand and gone with plasma. LCD only looks good when you’re staring straight at it. I’m often lazily reclining so the picture ends up looking dark. I guess the solution is to stop being lazy and sit up and watch… But, nah.

Now that the game is over, I’m planning to watch the Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon on USA until my eyes go crossed. Happy 4th of July weekend to all!

I shall commence yammering… don’t mind me.

Madonna & A-Rod rumor - What’s so weird about it? If it’s true, it means they can get couples mani/pedis together.

Brett Favre unretirement rumor - Aaron Rogers will kill him in his sleep. No, really.

Baron Davis to the Clippers - A shorter trip for his celebrity fanclub. Works for me.

Watched the Tila Tequila finale last night. Wow. I’m SHOCKED. Absolutely SHOCKED that Tila didn’t end up finding her one true love. Whatever will she do? Hmmm…

1-Sign up at Match.com?
2-Try being single for awhile?
3-Continue to degrade herself and others for entertainment purposes by filming a 3rd season of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”? (Hint: It’s this one.)

Son of a bratwurst, I thought of all these things I wanted to blog about today on my ride home from work (I have an hour commute and it keeps me from flipping off all the tools who fly by me yapping on their cell phones with one hand and smoking cigarrettes with the other — hey, who needs hands to drive? Not them, apparently!) and now I’ve pretty much forgotten all of it. Oh wait, now I remember… one of the things anyway.

Can I call an end to ESPN subbing in professional athletes to fill in for Mike Golic this week on Mike & Mike? I had no idea how much I truly despised Osi Umenurabastard until today. What a cocky monkeynut. Ok fine, I’m still bitter about the Superbowl, but damn… I wanted to fist fight him over pretty much every statement coming out of his mouth. He’d kill me of course, but that’s neither here nor there in a fictional fist fight. In a fictional fist fight, maybe I kick his ass.  It’s nice to finally have an NFL team to hate. I really want to hate the Colts, but they just aren’t that hateable. Even the Cowboys haven’t stepped up far enough to draw my ire yet. The Giants however, they’ve finally earned my eternal loathing.

Red Sox are playing right now. Wakefield is pitching. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have a great feeling about it. I hate road games. Fenway is so much more fun. The familiarity of the park is better and of course the fans are wayyyyy better.  Cora just screwed up a routine play and then Cash missed a throw so the Rays draw first blood. Maybe if I switch the channel they’ll start playing better. The WNBA is on ESPN2. Ah, so that’s where Ivory Latta ended up.

I can’t wait to see where all the NBA free agents land. I heard that the Celtics offered contracts to both Posey and Maggette. Interesting. I love James Posey. Love love love him. I hope he stays, but I have a feeling he’s heading to warmer pastures. I think he really missed Miami this season even though he won a championship in Boston. I wouldn’t be shocked if he ends up somewhere where the sun shines a lot more. We’ll see.

I spent last weekend in a blissful Red Sox coma. I was super exhausted and couldn’t muster up the energy to do anything more taxing than lying on the couch with the dogs watching the Sox play the Astros. I could’ve done without the two losses in a row, but such is life. For the love of manny being manny and all that is holy though, could someone please manage a few more hits when my-boyfriend-Josh-Beckett is pitching? The piddly offense is hurting his stats. [Oh and by the way, calling him that is just a bad habit I got into a few years ago. I promise I'm not one of those freaky chicks who signs up for message boards under monikers like, "Mrs_Jeter" and "TomBradys-Lady." *shiver*]

Speaking of Manny Being Manny, what’s this hubbub about Manny going diva and shoving staffers around over game tickets? Gah. I was just starting to find him completely charming again and he has go and do something crummy. Allegedly. *wink* I put Manny and Paul Pierce into the same category in terms of Boston sports figures and how I feel about them. I want to like them, but sometimes they say or do things that are hard to dismiss.

Red Sox play the Rays tonight. My mother continues to insist on calling them the Devil Rays despite multiple corrections from me. I have finally given up. Why do I give a shit what she calls them, they suck. And by suck, I mean they’re disturbingly good and that sucks.

Watching the NBA draft. Not too many surprises. A couple notes though:

1. Who knew that Joe Alexander had such a booming over-the-top loud voice? It was unsettling. Also, was it just me or was Stephen A. Smith dissing him at the end of the interview by saying that he was saying his team was lucky to get him (instead of him being lucky to get drafted)? Maybe it was just Stephen A. being Stephen A., but it sounded oddly hostile to me.
2. O.J. Mayo in Minnesota? Can’t see it. Never mind.
3. Have the NY fans at MSG ever NOT boo’ed their pick?
4. Pat Riley. What a minx.
5. Have I mentioned I love Jay Bilas? Oh I have? Never mind, then.
6. Why is Darrell Arthur dropping like a stone?
7. Josh McRoberts was included in a Portland trade with Indiana. Maybe playing at home will be good for him. He’ll also be reunited with Mike Dunleavy, Jr.
8. If the Orlando Magic select a shooting guard, I’m going to spazz out. They better take Arthur.
9. They just selected a shooting guard. Boo! Hiss! I don’t want to see J.J. on bench duty for yet another season.
10. I was typing and thought they just said that “Sir Chewbacca” just went to Seattle as the 24th pick. Clearly I need to actually read the picks and not just listen to Stern’s pronunciations.

Hmmm, chillin like a villain. Does anyone still say that? I guess I do.

Currently watching the NBA Draft Special on ESPN2. I seriously love Jay Bilas. Ok fine, I love Duke. Worse than that, I love Duke because of J.J. Redick. *ducking* Say what you will about J.J. and I’ve heard it all, but he was an assassin in his time. No, not an asshole - an assassin. See, I can read your mind. Scary huh? Everybody (save a few Crazies) hates Duke, I get that, but I’m not everybody. I could care less how unpopular my sports teams are. You can’t be a Patriots fan and be thin skinned.

Random thoughts… –I can’t get enough of this Shaq diss rap crap. It’s incredibly entertaining. Oh and ps, but I hope Kobe (or anyone else) doesn’t ever find out how Shaq’s ass tastes. Ewww. I guess I shouldn’t judge. Maybe you’re into that sort of thing. –Justin Masterson is impressive. The Sox have a great farm system. –I miss the NBA already. Thank goodness for draft coverage. The off-season is going to kill me though. Especially since I don’t even get NBA-TV. What kind of god-awful digital cable includes the NFL Network and doesn’t offer NBA-TV? Mine! Boo! –This may have been said already, but is it just me or does Bulls head coach Vinny del Negro bear a striking resemblance to Luke Wilson? –Update, Red Sox pull out a win against the Diamondbacks! Hot damn! Happy Jerry Remy Night to all!